Thursday, October 27, 2011


Why am i so sad all the time?

I just feel so apathetic, I feel as if there is this void in my life. I mean I always just feel empty, around my close friends and family. And I'm always in deep thought, I just think about how messed up this world is and how stupid these people I look at are. Its just so weird, I used to be very aggressive to my friends a lot. But around my family I act like blank and empty, I'm not angry anymore like I used to be, I never knew why I was like this. Its makes me feel so apathetic when my friends or people I know say I have anger issues, and they used to say I looked depressed. At one point, I did feel a little depressed but I tried not to do anything drastic. I barely have any good friends. This causes me to be so, antisocial. I have a lot of things, materialistic things, I have a middle class family but it doesn't bother me. And I hate feeling so empty and blank, I have everything but yet I have nothing.

And I have weird and very odd behaviors that are very unlike me, for instance I am usually a messy person but I started cleaning a lot. I mean I'm always doing a type of chores or something. Once I woke up, I'll go straight cleaning my house, my room, rearrange the furniture. I'm always constantly trying to keep myself busy, I cannot stand not doing anything. Its really weird because I never acted like this before.

I do listen to music
I drift away when my songs come on, I play the guitar a bit. But I still feel a void, and the songs I listen are usually sad or mellow. But it helps only for a while. And now i rarely listen to any music.

I am so scared that i will not be happy again. I want to hang out with some friends, watch movies etc, but then i end up doing nothing. Making plans, and last minute canceled it out, i don't know why.

I feel blessed with for having a lovely family, but i still feel lonely sometimes when i'm not around my cousins, even when i'm with them, i feel isolated. feeling like nobody cares or loves me. This is pathetic yes i know. Maybe some of you even think i'm an ungrateful person, don't take me wrong, i am grateful of everything i have. It just, i can't help it, feeling sad all the time.

Maybe this is just another PMS-ing talk, or maybe it isn't. I am so confused right now.



Wednesday, October 26, 2011


my heart hurts. really bad. :(

Thursday, October 20, 2011

then sue me!

Friday, October 14, 2011

iPhone 4s

Lets talk about iPhone 4s shall we? Hehe well i actually just want to talk about Siri, the far most advanced technology ever invented so far. Siri on iPhone 4S lets you use your voice to send messages, schedule meetings, place phone calls, and more. Ask Siri to do things just by talking the way you talk. Siri understands what you say, knows what you mean, and even talks back. Siri is so easy to use and does so much, you’ll keep finding more and more ways to use it. Yes, this is awesome, yet the only thing that makes 4s sounds very tempting for everyone. But, today after i watched this,

and i found it rather weird than amazed. Those people in the video talk to Siri as like Siri is a person, and it creeps me out. I mean, will Siri be able to answer EVERY questions? Like,

Me : How are you today Siri?
Me : What am i going to eat today?

As been told, Siri understands us, right? So, can Siri acts like a human being, answering every questions even talk back to us like a normal conversation. Ahaaa. That is the question. Haha i found it a bit funny. I can't wait to test out 4s, i even have compiled bunch of questions that i'd like to ask Siri. Hehe

Well, imagine if someday, Siri became a rebel, will she still be as obedient as she was designed now?

Me : I'm bored Siri
Siri : Yes, you are a very boring person.

Me : Siri, i'm feeling lonely
Siri : Do you want to watch porn? Browsing porn*

Me : Siri, please track my boyfriend's iphone, and let me know where he is.
Siri : Your boyfriend is at bla bla bla, you better hurry before he sees you with another guy.

Me : Siri, how do i look today?
Siri : Do you really want me to answer it?

Me : can you change your voice to a sexy male voice?
Siri : *changed voice to Johnny Depp's

Me : Siri, please call McDelivery for me, i'm ordering a Big Mac
Siri : You already had McDonalds yesterday, fat bitch.


what if Siri has a nigga version, will she swears a lot? Will she be able to say yawwww suppp douggg and rap? HAHA

And what if Siri's starting to hitting on your boyfriend/husband? HAHAHA WAIT, SHE CAN DO THAT? HAHA


and i'm gonna ask,

ME : Siri, please jailbreak yourself.


Pretty stupid, but yeah still awesome. TAPI CONFIRM LAH DIA TAK FAHAM MELAYU DOHHHHH. ACANEEEE. =____="

Thursday, October 13, 2011


True to that. And, today, i iz sad. how are you today?

this is a really sad song indeed.


Sunday, October 9, 2011

Mr and Mrs

OMG i just spent like an hour reading my previous posts , and i am disgusted with myself right now. Euuw i am so lame i wrote you all as u'olls and i put LOL even though it's not the right place to put it, and i sure mentioned i'm single A LOT. Omaigod somebody shoot me already. I feel ashamed reading my earlier entries, i feel like hanging myself till i die, my eyes pop out and my nose bleed like crazy, okay now i'm exaggerate things. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME OH MY GOD. But yeah, it's my blog, i can write whatever i want. I even can put LOL even when i actually didn't Laughing Out Loud while writing it. Hell yeah.

So heres some of the pictures i stole from my cousin's facebook because i hate having more than 1 album on my facebook account, i don't know why, i feel so rimas. Plus, i don't own super expensive camera, i do have a digital camera which is quite nice but i am too lazy to charge it and the cable went missing. Again. I usually use iPhone and edit it before post it on facebook because 3gs's camera is so lame and i so envy 4's camera because it's sooooo pretty and i look pretty in 4's camera. This is so out of the topic.

TAMBUN, IPOH, PERAK (LOL, mia Ipoh and Perak aren't the same okayyy)

i look super fat on both reception and wedding there, seriously, i hate my baju, therefore i will only show pictures that show the good side of me. HAHA


i love my baju soooooo much and it costs A LOT. My mum spent RM500++ for my baju including tailoring. Thank you mama i love you so much. :)

this is also my birthday cake, you see, me and my brother shared the same cake. haha 3 tingkat kot, wa nak setingkat tak boleh? so yeah, i ada birthday cake jugak this year and thank god the cake was kinda nice, but still, i hate wedding cakes. =_=

i look like a serial killer. hmmmm

so yeah, congratulations abang and kak zu. :)

K bye losers

Friday, October 7, 2011



Thursday, October 6, 2011

an Apple a day

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

R.I.P Steve Jobs. Your legacy lives forever.

Without Steve, apple is just a fruit. LOL